Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The movies of summer reviewed!!

Star Wars Episode 3: Best of the "new three". I just wish I didn't come out of the theater thinking Darth Vader is a pussy. I used to respect that guy.

The Longest Yard: Terribly Funny. A must see. Even if only for the perfect way to dump a girlfriend.

Batman Begins: Anyone who says this is better than the original with Adam West really isn't old enough to talk. I mean wouldn't that water vaporizer vaporize the water naturally occuring in the body, killing everyone? Bottom line no legit baddies = a lame ass show. Where the Penguin? Joker? Who the hell wears a potatoe sack on his head and calls himself a villian? Props Jimmy Fallon for "Tankman" because what the hell is Batman with out a legit batmobile? Old Chum it appears we are done for, unless! Reach for my utility belt ..... Will the boy wonder reach into the utility belt? Or some other neither regions of The Winged Wonders tights? Tune in next week, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.

Sin City: This show is badass! Its like mixing Pulp Fiction with a side order of Sky Captian and the World of Tommorow. Tarintino is a genious(yes he was guest director). Plus that fag from Lord of the Rings suffers an unimaginable death. Jessica Alba is hot +2 points.

Hitch: Get jiggy with it, no seriously.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Hottie and Brad Pitt fight to the near death. Pretty much a normal relationship with guns. If every chick flick was this good then I would problably wouldnt cut my own arm off just to get out of watching them. Rated J for Jiggly, like all Tomb Raider movies.

Are we there yet?: No I am just kidding I would rather watch Whats eating Gilbert Grape than this.

Be Cool: Maybe the most underated movie of the summer. Hilariously funny, if you are intelligent enough to get it. The Rock acting as a gay actor is too much. This wont win best movie but its a must watch for people who want to be entertained on another level.

War of the Worlds: Blink and you will miss the ending. Which is ok because you still wouldn't understand what happend along with everyone else who hasn't read the book. Maybe this is only part 1 of a series? I mean I feel cheated. Its like a joke with no punchline. How can this be the 2nd highest grossing movie of the summer? I dunno either but someone slept with alot of people to make it happen.

Fantastic Four: Haven't seen it yet but I mean seriously how good can it be? At least is has some legit baddies with super powers and whatnot. Jessica Alba is hot +2 points.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Throwing Johnny Depp at a movie doesn't make it good. Throwing Johnny Depp at a movie with a plot based on Chocolate, or should I say Chocolat is even a Dirrtier Eff.

The Dukes of Hazzard: Knoxville, Stiffler, dumb but insanely hot Simpson, the sweetest car to ever hit the big screen and Burt Renolds? This could very well win best movie of the year. However...........

Wedding Crashers: Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson trying to score women for 2 hours? Without seeing this movie yet we have our current Champion of the year. Any movie loosley based on the lives of 2fnlo and Eljam has to be awesome. The previews alone make this movie rank at the top.